Consent

What it is

Consent is a mutual agreement to sexual activity. It should be clear, voluntary, and given without pressure, manipulation or fear.¹ Everyone involved must be able to give it, which means being of legal age, sober and alert, and not under pressure or threat.¹

How it works

• Every time, for every activity. A yes in the past isn't a yes now, and agreeing to one thing isn't agreeing to everything.¹
• It can be taken back. Anyone can change their mind at any point, even in the middle. If someone freezes, pulls away or goes quiet, stop.¹
• Ask, and listen. "Is this okay?" and "Do you want to keep going?" are normal questions. Respect a no, even a quiet or indirect one.¹
• Look for a real yes. Enthusiastic consent means looking for a clear, positive yes, not just the absence of a no.¹

What isn't consent

These are not consent:¹

• silence or not resisting
• flirting, clothing, or having done it before
• a yes that came from guilt, fear or pressure
• someone who is asleep, underage, or too drunk or high to decide

Myth: If their body responded, they wanted it.

It's a painful belief, and many survivors have heard it or wondered it themselves. Arousal, wetness and orgasm are automatic responses of the body. They don't equal consent, and they don't mean an unwanted experience was okay.¹

If it happened to you

If something happened without your consent, it was not your fault, whether you froze, didn't fight back, or were pressured.¹ Talking to someone you trust, a doctor, or a sexual assault support line can help, and you can choose what to do next at your own pace.