For loved ones
What she's going through
Trying to get pregnant can mean months of tracking, waiting and disappointment. Fertility treatment adds daily injections, frequent ultrasounds and blood tests, procedures, cost, and decisions with no guaranteed result.1 Much of it happens in her body.
What helps
- Get checked too. A male factor is involved in about half of couples with .2 Getting tested early is one of the most useful things a partner can do.
- Share the load. Go to appointments, learn how to give injections, track costs, and help make decisions.
- Ask what she needs. Some days that's distraction, some days it's talking, some days it's space.
- Make room for grief. A negative test or a failed cycle is a loss, even if no one else sees it.
What not to say
- "Just relax and it'll happen." is a medical condition, and it often needs medical care.
- "My friend did IVF and got pregnant right away." Results vary a lot, and many people overestimate how often works.3
- "Why don't you just freeze your eggs?" Egg freezing doesn't guarantee a baby.1
- "When are you having kids?" Not everyone wants children, and those who do may be struggling privately. Health professionals are reminded to respect that not every patient wants to be pregnant.3
Recap
- Infertility is a medical condition, and about half the time a male factor is involved.
- If you're the partner, get tested too, and share appointments, injections and decisions.
- Don't offer "just relax" or success stories. Ask what she needs.
- Not everyone wants children, and questions about it can hurt.
Words to know 2
| infertility | Not getting pregnant after 12 months of regular sex without birth control, or needing medical help to get pregnant. |
|---|---|
| IVF (in vitro fertilization) | Combining eggs and sperm in a lab, then placing an embryo in the uterus. |
Educational information, not medical advice. Talk to your doctor about your health.